Jinx Schwartz - JUST PARDON MY FRENCH is featured in the HBS Author's Spotlight Showcase

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The HBS Author's Spotlight SHOWCASES Jinx Schwartz's New Book: JUST PARDON MY FRENCH.

Award-Winning Author Jinx Schwartz is the author of the Hetta Coffey series.

JUST PARDON MY FRENCH

Hetta Coffey Series, Book 8

Author: Jinx Schwartz


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Hetta Coffey is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht, and she’s not afraid to use it!

She’s living aboard her forty-five foot boat in Mexico’s spectacular Sea of Cortez, taking work where she can get it, and, characteristically, she isn’t all that concerned about any pesky legalities involved.

Docked at a pricey marina in La Paz, her cruising kitty is taking a hit, so when she’s offered a dream job, she jumps on it. All she has to do is act as a courier, babysitting equipment and sensitive documentation for her former employer to their new offices in France.

Not only does she get to revisit a country she once lived in and loved, she’ll meet with her significant other, Jenks Jenkins, in Paris. Oh là là! An easy job and a romantic vacation, all paid for; what could possibly go wrong?

With Hetta? Just about everything.

Excerpt from JUST PARDON MY FRENCH

I stretched out on one of my back deck lounges to enjoy my daily afternoon entertainment: watching other yachties fight a combination of stiff breezes and opposing swift tides to get into the marina.

One might surmise my social life sucks.

At the moment my professional life wasn't so hot, either.

I am Hetta Coffey, CEO, CFO, president, and sole employee of Hetta Coffey, SI, LLC. The SI is my little inside joke on the phonetic pronunciation of Civil Engineer. A single woman of forty—yes, I can actually now say that without requiring a heart defibrillator—I'm an engineer by degree who stays somewhat employed thanks to a penchant for engaging in, shall we say, much less than run-of-the-mill endeavors. BFF Jan says I tread heavily upon the felonious side of life, but what does she know? She's a CPA who's flipping tortillas for her honey at a whale camp. At least I get paid.

Perpetually single, I actually have a wonderful—but too often absent—man in my life. Jenks Jenkins works in Dubai and I live in Mexico. When we are together, all is well, but left on my own, I teeter on the brink of blowing the best relationship I've ever had because I'm bullheaded and as temperamental as any Texas redhead. I prefer to think of myself as self-governing.

My friend Jan says I'm stubborn, incorrigible and morally corrupt, which is why she likes me so much.

One can clearly see why Jan and I are practically like sisters.

Po Thang and I were parked at the dock in La Paz, Mexico, but that was not the usual case. I'd spent most of my time in the central Sea where I managed to stay employed. Not always exactly safely or legally employed, mind you, but I'd made enough to keep us in kibble and refrieds. Back when I worked as a project engineer for large corporations, I traveled the world, stayed in five-star hotels, and ate and drank high on the hog, thanks to a fat expense account.

Those days are but a memory.

These days it's boxed wine and a dog for company.

The phone rang. Caller ID told me it was Wontrobski, and my heart stuttered. Both he and Jenks were in Dubai and, since I inherited the worry gene from Mom, I generally think the worst.

"Yo, Trob," I said, doing a mental calculation of the time in Dubai: Eight in the morning. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing wrong. Job."

Fidel Wontrobski is a man of few words. I pictured him at his desk, wild black hair, beak nose, and the posture of a buzzard sitting on a cactus. Probably dressed in his signature all black clothes despite the heat in the Middle East. Figuring I didn't look so hot myself, I was grateful he refuses to use Facetime.

"Who do you want killed?"

Not even a chuckle. The man is a genius but missed out on the humor gene. He knows I'll take on just about anything, but for the record, he really never asked me to off anyone. Honest. Collateral damage? Out of my control.

"Courier."

"Wontrobski, I am a highly trained professional. An engineer who fakes it as an expert in engineering stuff. Not a babysitter."

"France."

"France?" I gasped. "Mais oui!"

Author Genre: Mystery & Thrillers, Young Adult/tweens, Historical/Western, Humor, Chicklit

Website: Jinx Schwartz
Author's Blog: Jinx Schwartz's Water Writes
Twitter: @jinxschwartz
E-Mail: jinxschwartz@yahoo.com
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Author Description: Jinx Schwartz is the author of nine books, including the award-winning Hetta Coffey series. Hetta is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht, and she's not afraid to use it!

A ninth-generation Texan, Jinx has lived and worked all over the globe, and much like the protagonist in her Hetta Coffey mystery series, she's a woman with a yacht and not afraid to use it.





Author's Book List
Just Different Devils - Hetta Coffey Series Book 7
Hetta Coffey is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht, and she's not afraid to use it—most of the time. She's an intrepid cruiser, but wild rumors of marauding gangs of flesh-shredding giant Humboldt squid on a rampage in the Sea of Cortez could keep even Hetta tied to an expensive dock. However, when the opportunity for an intriguing and highly lucrative charter arises she talks her best friend, Jan, into signing on for a mysterious cruise. Damn the calamari! Full bank account ahead!


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Just Needs Killin' - Hetta Coffey Series Book 6
Hetta Coffey is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht and she's not afraid to use it!

After several months of cruising Mexico's hauntingly beautiful Sea of Cortez, Hetta's in Puerto Escondido, a place once described by author John Steinbeck as "a magic harbor." Anchored out, swaying on the hook at the whim of breeze and tide, surrounded by magnificent views and turquoise water can be magical. Stuck at anchor alone? Not so much.

So when her best friend, Jan, gets them an invite to a party at a nearby luxury resort hosted by a Japanese businessman—all expenses paid—Hetta figures, why not? Why turn down an evening of free food and booze? And besides, what could possibly go wrong?

With Hetta involved? Plenty.

Not only are she and Jan soon up to their necks in hot sake, a succession of unsavory intruders sends Hetta scurrying for a safe harbor, but not before she reaches the conclusion that some folks just need killin'.


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Just The Pits - Hetta Coffey Series (Book 5)
Hetta Coffey is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht, and she's not afraid to use it!

As a self-employed engineering consultant with a penchant for oddball—read: shady—projects, Hetta Coffey has a history of inviting trouble. But now that she's been hired for a legitimate mining project in Mexico's Baja, it looks like smooth sailing ahead...until she discovers that people and pesos are disappearing faster than you can say, "This job is the pits!" And Hetta Coffey as sleuth? Goodness knows she's nosy enough, but her detective skills leave a lot to be desired. Luckily for her she gets help from her best friend, Jan, and a mysterious Velveeta thief.


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Hetta Coffey Collection - Boxed Set Books 1-4 Hetta Coffey Series
Boxed Set Includes Four Full-Length Novels including:

Just Add Water
Just Add Salt
Just Add Trouble
Just Deserts


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Troubled Sea
Hetta and Jenks Jenkins live a life many only dream of aboard their 42-foot boat in Mexico's hauntingly beautiful Sea of Cortez. But their chosen sea has a serpent: Mexico's out-of-control drug trade.

After witnessing a drug-deal gone wrong, they set off a deadly chain of events that lands them in a sea of intrigue involving a best friend, the Mexican Federal Police, the DEA, US Coast Guard, the INS, and a nasty drug cartel.

This fast-paced adventure is a must-read for anyone who has ever dreamed of cutting the lines and shoving off to adventure.


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Just Deserts - Hetta Coffey Series (Book 4)
Hetta Coffey is a woman with a yacht, and she's not afraid to use it. As a self employed engineering consultant with a penchant of oddball-read: shady- projects, she has a way of attracting trouble.

With her floating home drydocked for repairs in Mexico, Hetta needs a place to live and a job to pay the boatyard. Landing a project at a mining operation not far from her boat, Hetta finds herself on the tumultuous Arizona/Mexico border, where all hell is breaking loose even before she gets there.


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Just Add Trouble - Hetta Coffey Series (Book 3)
Hetta Coffey is a woman with a yacht and she's not afraid to use it.

A globe-trotting engineer with adventure in her soul, Hetta is determined to solidify her relationship with her long-distance boyfriend, Jenks jenkins. What better place for a romantic interlude than aboard a yacht in Mexico's hauntingly beautiful and solitary Sea of Cortez?

But where Hetta goes, trouble follows, and chaos is sure to ensue. After a run-in with a couple of sea serpents that threaten to rock the boat, she nevertheless decides to take on a project in the port city of Guaymas. After all, Jenks is headed back to Kuwait, so why not cash in on the best of both worlds by making some dough while living aboard her boat in Mexico?

Once again Hetta's indomitablespirit, stubborn independence and penchant for deceit will keep the reader in stitches as she launches herself and her best friend, Jan, into a sea of trouble. A pesky parrot, a drunken aunt, and a shadowy figure who is handsome in a "criminal sort of way" lead to murder, mayhem, kidnapping, and run-ins with several federal agencies on both sides of the border.


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Just Add Salt - Hetta Coffey Mystery Series (Book 2)
Hetta Coffey is a woman with a yacht, and she's not afraid to use it!

Hetta, a globe-trotting engineer with attitude, a penchant for trouble, and a yacht, is back, and this time she s steering us into hot Mexican waters.

Miffed that vacation plans with her chronically absent boyfriend Jenks Jenkins have gone awry, she accepts a job in Baja. So what if she and her friend Jan are spectacularly unqualified to take her yacht on a thousand mile cruise in the eastern Pacific Ocean in the middle of hurricane season? Hiring a handsome, if somewhat fishy captain for the trip might keep them off the rocks, but probably won t do the same for her future with Jenks. Meanwhile, a little eye candy on board can t be all bad.

Hetta s unmanageable independence impels her to tackle the very profitable, if environmentally and politically incorrect project south of the border. True to form, her irreverent nature and disregard for danger soon swamps her in a sea of inconvenient bodies, illegal aliens, a pesky whale, and a menacing Mexican machinator. And without her usual arsenal of firepower.

Set sail for Baja Mexico s Magdalena Bay as Hetta Coffey leads us once more into a morass of intrigue that will keep you laughing, breathless, and wanting more.

To quote Lord Byron, Hetta would "much rather sink beneath the shock than moulder piecemeal on the rock."


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Just Add Water - Hetta Coffey Series (Book 1)
Winner: International EPPIE Award for Best Mystery.

Hetta Coffey is a sassy Texan with a snazzy yacht and and she's not afraid to use it.

She's a globe-trotting civil engineer with swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream.

Plying the San Francisco waterfront, trolling for triceps, her attention is snagged by a parade of passing yachts--especially their predominantly male skippers--and experiences a champagne-induced epiphany: If she had a boat, she could get a man.

In spite of a spectacular ignorance of all things nautical, Hetta buys her dream boat, but shadowy stalker, an inconvenient body, and Hetta's own self-destructive foibles, give a whole new meaning to the phrase "sink or swim!"


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Land Of Mountains
A ten-year-old's new home on an exotic Caribbean island proves so fascinating she quickly forgets she didn't want to leave Texas. After all, where better than a jungle world teeming with voodoo, mystery, and a really pesky zombie, to indulge her favorite pastime: snooping.

In this humorous mystery, award-winning author Jinx Schwartz transports the reader to another time and place where rivers, and little girls, ran wild and free.


Book Trailer: Land Of Mountains



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The Texicans
NOT another story about Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, Sam Houston and the boys.

Decades before Crockett, Bowie or Houston even set foot in Texas, Frederick Stockman was already there. Author Jinx Schwartz, a ninth-generation Texan, has delved deep into her ancestral roots to create this moving story of the Frederick Stockman familys' courageous determination to make Texas their home during the turbulent period between 1806 and 1836.

The Texicans was inspired by a Texas history book calling her ancestral clan a "congenial society for evil"--rogues "skilled in many forms of villainy" for their role in the tumultuous years of first Spanish, the Mexican rule. Frederick Stockman and his family immigrate to Spanish Texas in 1806 to ranch, but soon find themselves inexorably drawn into the bitter conflict between Mexico and Spain. They join forces with a dashing young Spanish deserter, Miguel Gonzales, in his successful campaign to liberate Mexico and Texas from Spanish rule. Their ties are further cemented when Gonzales marries into the family.

As Heroes of Mexico, the Texicans--staunch supporters of Mexican rule for Texas--find themselves vilified by North American settlers illegally flocking across the unprotected border. These newcomers, calling themselves Texians, view Mexico, Mexicans and Texicans as the enemy. Targets of bigotry, the Texicans themselves are torn along cultural lines as their hero-turned-despot, General Santa Anna, propels them towards a deadly showdown.


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